Every body needs good neighbours

While it’s very true that Ausfailure is a dump, full of bogan losers and sports stars getting away with all sorts of garbage it’s not all bad news if your refuge boat lands there. New Zealand is only a few more kilometers away and a much nicer place to live and visit, according to experts.

Continue reading Every body needs good neighbours

Mission Accomplished

It's Official – Ausfailure Lose 2010 World Cup

The long suffering misery guts fans of Ausfailure are rueing the crap performances of their sockerlose team as it wings it’s way back from a successful mission to lose back to back soccer world cups for a second successive time in a row. In 2006

Continue reading Mission Accomplished

NZ Rugby Team Pips Ausfailure By 45 Points

Ausfailure came as close to beating New Zealand at anything as they have for nearly 25 years when they lost the Junior World Rugby Championship yet again.

NZ 1 – Ausfailure Nil, Again

New Zealand has retained the world junior rugby championship, thumping Australia 62-17 in this morning’s final in Rosario, Argentina.


Continue reading NZ Rugby Team Pips Ausfailure By 45 Points

Ausfailure’s latest horror sporting weekend

While Ausfailure’s losers struggle to come to grips with losing the Rugby League World Cup to New Zealand, a small sparsely populated group islands in the Pacific, the world laughed as the hapless Loseroos woke up this morning suffering from yet more serious humiliation on the world sporting stages.

Noted sports commentator Bluey Crackersport was

Continue reading Ausfailure’s latest horror sporting weekend

Ausfailure Offers Advice On Losing For Kiwis

New Zealand Rugby League bosses have sought the advice of their counterparts from Ausfailure as the World Champion Rugby League team came to terms with the embarrassing loss to easybeats the Kangalose in an exhibition match played to promote the game in Wellington on the weekend.

Formerly known as the ANZAC Test the friendly match

Continue reading Ausfailure Offers Advice On Losing For Kiwis

Aussie Puckerood By Kiwis At World Champs

New Zealand’s Black Sticks shocked Australia with a scoreless draw in their second match of the women’s World Champions Trophy hockey tournament in Amsterdam this morning.

The young New Zealanders kept the world’s third-ranked side goalless and came close to upsetting them again after their shock win in last year’s Oceania tournament.

The puckeroos suffered

Continue reading Aussie Puckerood By Kiwis At World Champs

Ausfailure Humiliation Addiction Continues

As the sad and sorry brokenhearted people of Ausfailure struggle to come to terms with their new found status as the World’s Easybeats at Sport another humiliation has fallen upon them.

Yesterday they actually lost a game of cricket to New Zealand.

Yes, New Zealand, a country that struggles to get 11 people to play

Continue reading Ausfailure Humiliation Addiction Continues

Aussie The Team To Beat

Beware of the slippery slope.

Great Britain coach Brian Noble has stopped crying over the Tri Nations thrashing from New Zealand on Sunday and has set his sights on beating Ausfailure next weekend.

After watching his side lose 42-26 to New Zealand at Loftus Road yesterday (AEDT) – putting the Kiwis on top

Continue reading Aussie The Team To Beat

Australia or Ausfailure?

Australians were to day reeling from yet another humiliation on the sports field as their alleged world champion rugby league team succumbed to a 4th string Kiwi team in Sydney on Saturday night.

The Kiwis chances were weakened as usual by various skulduggery by the fear fueled Australian tryhards but as usual this did not

Continue reading Australia or Ausfailure?

Virus Hits Aussie Team

Olympic gold medal-winning swimmer Ian Thorpe has an upper respiratory tract infection, Australian team doctors said today.

Doctors said Thorpe started to feel the effects of the infection a couple of days a ago.

Thorpe started to feel the effects of the infection on the afternoon of his 200m race on Monday.

“That afternoon he

Continue reading Virus Hits Aussie Team

New Mascot Launched Today

The Australian Olympic Games Fund Raising Committee and Ladies Auxiliary today announced a new addition to the mascots that are currently available.

‘Silvia’ will join Wally, Bazza and Darky as games mascots and will go on sale immediately.

Silvia is a silver wattle leaf with 2 arms, 2 legs and 2 faces.

“We think this

Continue reading New Mascot Launched Today

Silver Slide Continues

Australia’s dream of being the best at being almost good enough turned to sh!t today as they were overhauled by Russia in the Runner Up Stakes.

Russia sits on 28 Silver medals and Australia is on 25 with arch rivals and idols the USA.

Russia, always in top contention in the loser stakes, fulfilled it’s

Continue reading Silver Slide Continues

Silver Medal Tally Grows

Australian 1500 metre specialist ‘Gilly’ Perkins has made it a dream come true by winning silver in the mens 1500 freestyle final at the Sydney 2000 Olympics.

“I’ve tried to get this medal 3 times now and finally I have my hands on it”

“It’s a dream come true”

Perkins missed out on two previous

Continue reading Silver Medal Tally Grows

Australia Storm Into Second Place


In unbelievable scenes today Australia stormed into 2nd place in the Olympics. They sit on 11 points behind arch rivals and idols, the Americans.

The Prime Minsters Office has declared September 18th an annual national holiday to celebrate reaching what many said was an unattainable goal by collecting so many second prizes.

Continue reading Australia Storm Into Second Place