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A Happy Marriage – Aus Style Four women interviewed by Four Corners allege they have been involved in group sex with players or been victims of sexual abuse. Details of one group sex session, involving Nine Network star Matthew Johns when he was playing with NRL club Cronulla in 2002, were revealed last Continue reading Ausfailure’s Love Of Group Sex Under Attack Updated 28-12-2008 19:00 Only Ausfailure could offer a $1000 dollar Rugby League 2008 World Cup winning souvenir to fans of a team that hadn’t won the game yet. This ad was placed in the Daily Telegraph inviting Aussies to celebrate their win before the game. No, really We have fixed the typos Continue reading If you thought Anthony Mundine was a big headed twat, take a look at this One word: Monahan. If you can’t win it fair, then cheat. Monahan’s professional foul on Hohaia summed up 50 years of professional cheating by a team that claims (falsely) to be the best in the world. With the Kangalose on the rack and the Kiwi’s rampaging through them at will Monahan played the man instead Continue reading Kiwi’s Retain World Champion Status Updated 02-07-2008 14:30 While it is a generally accepted fact that Aussie sports people are the worlds biggest cheats due to their inability to compete effectively on a level playing field a study just released proves that they are not the only ones cheating to get by in the big league. Sports referees from Continue reading Official: Aussie Refs Admit To Being Cheats Too When Rugby League role model and celebrated national hero Andrew Johns boasted about taking banned drugs for a decade without punishment a year ago he obviously he sent a message to other athletes from Ausfailure not quite good enough to compete without cheating. That message was ‘take any drugs you like, you’ll probably get away Continue reading Ausfailure Drug Cheat Numbers Swell For Olympic Glory Pineapple House Rugby League fans from Ausfailure yesterday mourned the achievement of New Zealander Reuben Wiki in becoming the first New Zealander to play 300 first grade games in the NR-Hell. Kiwis have always struggled to make 300 games because of the way they are shafted by the corrupt jokediciary which uses a Continue reading Wiki Beats The Odds New Zealand Rugby League bosses have sought the advice of their counterparts from Ausfailure as the World Champion Rugby League team came to terms with the embarrassing loss to easybeats the Kangalose in an exhibition match played to promote the game in Wellington on the weekend. Formerly known as the ANZAC Test the friendly match Continue reading Ausfailure Offers Advice On Losing For Kiwis Oswald P Wrong – World Champion Tipster Oswald P Wrong has been declared the champion tipster following his complete and utter annihilation of his opponents in the 2007 season NR-Hell competition. To mark this achievement The Oswald P Wrong Official Fan Club released this special commemorative T-shirt for losers to wear. T Shirts Continue reading OSWALD P WRONG SECURES WORLD CHAMPION TIPPING STATUS
Ausfailure Adopts New Flag Ausfailure today announced that it was adopting a new flag in recognition of it’s sporting woes over the last 2 years. The flag fittingly replaces all the stars with asterisks on the current flag. Humilitated by New Zealand in 2005 in the Tri Nations final where Willy Continue reading Ausfailure Adopts New Flag Following Second Tri Nations Humiliation Bring Back The Boof-Head (from unconscienceness) Ausfailure began their attempt to win back the Tri Nations Trophy from current champions New Zealand with a predictable effort on Saturday night at Mt Smart in Auckland, New Zealand. As always Ausfailure insisted on an Aussie ref to assist them and as per usual they have Continue reading Ausfailure Tri Nations Series Starts With Disaster Beware of the slippery slope. Great Britain coach Brian Noble has stopped crying over the Tri Nations thrashing from New Zealand on Sunday and has set his sights on beating Ausfailure next weekend. After watching his side lose 42-26 to New Zealand at Loftus Road yesterday (AEDT) – putting the Kiwis on top Continue reading Aussie The Team To Beat New Zealand were today still miles ahead of the opposition in the Tri Nations series after their all the way win against Great Britain in the 3rd Tri Nations game in London. New Zealand won the match 42 to 26. The result has devastated Great Britain who now have the impossible task of having to Continue reading NEW ZEALAND CRUISE TO EASY WIN OVER GREAT BRITAIN Desperate to enhance the image of Ausfailure as a nation of losers the Australian Olympic Committee has announced it has won 20 gold medals at the 2008 Olympics. No Ashes, beaten by the Kiwis in Sydney for the first time since 1959, no Bledisloe Cup, no golf majors, tennis brat Lleyton Hewitt still can’t win Continue reading Ausfailure Wins 20 Golds at 2008 Olympics Skull of an Aussie World champion moaners Ausfailure were today awarded the Gold Medal in Whinging following a poll by legendary sports announcers. The Medal is the highest honor for whingers and until recently is was seen that England owned the rights to this annual award, but Ausfailure has creamed all the opposition Continue reading Ausfailure Lowers Bar on Whinging Bluey Crackersport in Auckland The Kiwis confirmed their rightful place at the top of international rugby league last night in Auckland when they added 26 points to their points tally in the Tri Nations Series. The top line Kangaroo side looked decidedly second rate next to the 5th string Kiwi side cobbled together Continue reading KIWIS STORM TO TOP OF TRI-NATIONS SERIES Following Saturdays horrific loss to the lowly ranked Kiwi rugby league team Australian sports officials are crying foul over the state of the playing field at Albany stadium. Albany is the scene of relentless hammerings to Aussie sports teams at the hands of random New Zealand squads and according to sources close to the losing Continue reading Aussies Cry Foul Over Albany Arena Australians were to day reeling from yet another humiliation on the sports field as their alleged world champion rugby league team succumbed to a 4th string Kiwi team in Sydney on Saturday night. The Kiwis chances were weakened as usual by various skulduggery by the fear fueled Australian tryhards but as usual this did not Continue reading Australia or Ausfailure? New Zealand today was allowed to announce it’s rugby league team to play Australia in the upcoming Tri-Nations series. The team is: Brent Webb, Jake Webster, Paul Whatuira, Clinton Toopi, Manu Vatuvei, Nigel Vagana, Stacey Jones, Paul Rauhihi, Lance Hohaia, Ruben Wiki, David Kidwell, Frank Pritchard and Louis Anderson. On the bench are David Faiumu, Continue reading Kiwis Announce 4th String Team To Play Australia Australian Captain Ms Darren Lockyer shows off the new test strip for the paparazzi. The head honchos of Australian Rugby League today announced that for all test matches against formidable third string Kiwi rugby league sides Australian Players would be kitted out in a special playing strip. A spokesman said that the new Continue reading Australia Announces New Test Strip Bluey Crackersport Reports From New Zealand With just a couple of days to go before season 2003 kicks off there have already been several casualties. Craig Coleman was given the bums rush at Souths after continuing in the Souths tradition of losing heaps of games in a row. “Tradition is all very well when it Continue reading 2003 Season Preview |
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