World’s Worst Service : Official

Only In Ausfailure

Many people visiting the third world often complain of the bad service they get and now a list has been compiled of the world’s worst culprits.

As expected Ausfailure is the worst offender.

It’s the sales assistant who doesn’t end her personal phone call when you walk into the store. Or

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NZ Rugby Team Pips Ausfailure By 45 Points

Ausfailure came as close to beating New Zealand at anything as they have for nearly 25 years when they lost the Junior World Rugby Championship yet again.

NZ 1 – Ausfailure Nil, Again

New Zealand has retained the world junior rugby championship, thumping Australia 62-17 in this morning’s final in Rosario, Argentina.

The Kiwis

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Aussie Whingers Told To Shut TF Up, Again

Whinge, whinge, bleat, bleat, woe is me.

Ausfailure is embarrassing itself on the world stage and showing the world what a bunch of whingers they really are deep down where it counts, as rugby league fans knew all along.

[Source and Full Story]

DESPITE sharing the frustration of the players after watching the Socceroos

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NZ Beat World Champs, Again

NZ's Trophy

More humiliation for former world champs at everything Ausfailure as their idols New Zealand, a small sparsely populated group of islands somewhere in the pacific beat world champion football stars Italy at the FIFA World Cup. New Zealand are 78th ranked dreamers in the world of football and were expected to totally

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Johns ‘you can’t be apologising all your life for being an arsehole.’

Johnsy Looks Into Racism In Sport

Racist druggie Andrew Johns was today searching for a sole supporter as his reputation as a top Aussie was under further attack from his countrymen. Johns looks set to be denied Immortal status for being a racist.

He has been dumped as coaching consultant by The Eels.

Sources

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Smith Makes It Three In A Row

L to R: Smith, Inglis and Slater prepare for Origin

Origin of the Species star Melbourne Storm captain Cameron Smith has made it three in a row.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/nrl/smiths-three-contracts/sto…

NRL salary cap investigators have discovered champion hooker Cameron Smith had THREE separate contracts with Melbourne Storm.

One was registered with the NRL, one was in

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Sex, Lies, Racism, Drugs, Violence, Rugby League Has Got It All

Rubgy League Players Get Ready To Party

While some argue rugby league is simply a showcase and feeder for up and coming AFL talent they forget that rugby league also provides some of the best xxx rated entertainment available. Graphic stories of group sex romps, consensual or otherwise, have titillated the public for most

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AFL Sheds Light On Rugby League Race Policy

Uruguay Rugby – 1972 cannibals

AFL Legend Mel Brown has shed some light on why the NSWRL appears to have be less racist than jail-cell suicide capital of the world Queensland. Poor lighting is to blame says Brown. Observers were sceptical about QR-Hell mascot Anthony Mundine’s claims that ‘boys’ got a fair go in

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Sockerlose Orphanage Visit Brings Cheer

Jamal Umboto, 3rd from left.

As part of their daily public relations training the Sockerlose visited an orphanage in South Africa this morning. “It’s so good to put a smile on the faces of people constantly struggling and facing the impossible” said Jamal Umboto, aged 6 In other news lowly ranked pretenders Ghana are

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Storm Players Too Busy Cheating For Queensland To Front Up

You have to laugh at all those Broncoes fans who have been falling over the place supporting the Melbourne Storm cheats with many saying the players are completely innocent? Of course we can only speculate why Broncoes fans are shoving their tongues down the trousers of News Ltd’s other team, but until we have cellphone

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A Sad Little Country Waits

Ausfailure

While the world watches, piddling itself as the joint that used to brag about itself as the Sporting Capital of the World crashes and burns on the international stage a little girl from Ausfailure waits. Samantha Stosur today has the forlorn hopes of the entire embattled nation of Ausfailure on her shoulders as

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Sockerlose Outclassed By 78th Ranked Pretenders

Ausfailure’s World Cup hopes are in ruins this morning as the reality of it all sinks in – The Sockerlose aren’t much better than New Zealand, a small sparsely populated group of islands in the pacific, current world rugby league champions and ranked 78th in the socker world. In order to get any one to

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It’s Just Not Cricket

As Ausfailure slides down to the bottom of the sh!theap in world sport a lot of people are asking how they got to be top of the heap and are now so sh!thouse. Take this weeks 20/20 cricket humiliation.

It was shocking to see Ausfailure lose to England in the final of the 20/20 World

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Sydney man critically ill after eating slug

Source http://www.stuff.co.nz/world/australia/3695206/Sydney-man-critically-ill-after-eating-slug

A Sydney man is critically ill after eating a slug as a dare, leading authorities to issue health warnings on devouring raw gastropods.

The man, 21, is in a critical condition in hospital after contracting a rare form of meningitis called Angiostrongylus or rat lung worm after eating the slug.

NSW Health says

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Is Ausfailure A Toilet?

What to do with Wee Willy and his Peers

With so many famous Aussies being snapped whipping out their little willys and taking a leak any old place the question needs to be ask as the whether or not Ausfailure is in fact a dunny.

Wee Willy Mason got his hands wet whilst standing

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Ausfailure loses to Scotland for first time since 1982

Wallabies Captain Rocky Elsom Says Team Is Not Full Of Meatheads

While the world laughs uncontrollably at the growing list of Ausfailure’s sporting disasters teams that usually struggle to beat the Ockers are lining up to thrash the daylights out of them.

Take their Two Time Rugby World Cup winning team. The Wallabies used

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Ausfailure A Magnet For Dumbo’s

Another Kiwi Dumbo Crosses The Ditch

Ausfailure’s reputation as a haven for losers and dropouts has been confirmed by a recent census analysis.

Wellington demographer James Newell found that figures proved that Kiwis who left New Zealand for Ausfailure were more likely to be unskilled.

The good news for New Zealand is that these

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England Celebrates 2nd Best Team Award

Number 2

England was today celebrating their new status as second best rugby league team in the world after doing what Ausfailure couldn’t manage when they beat New Zealand in the Rugby League Four Nations tournament.

New Zealand are rugby league world champions after caning the Kangalose in last years final.

Ausfailure failed to

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Ausfailure Grovels For Home Ref

Updated 12-11-2009 08:17

Ausfailure Sh!tting Bricks Again

After spending the last 12 months whinging about the Australian born ref who controlled their predictable world cup final loss to New Zealand, Ausfailure are again groveling for a ref from Ausfailure to help them beat the powerhouse England team that dealt to the Kiwis last

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Ausfailure Fans Emulate Ricky Stuart

Following the lead of disgraced former Ausfailure coach Ricky Stuart footy fans from Ausfailure are showing they are mad as hell about being losers and are not going to take it any more.

Stuart coached the Kangalose to their Rugby League World Cup loss to New Zealand and despite having what many pundits referred to

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