Ashes to ashes: Ockers who hit an all-time low

PHIL GIFFORD – Sunday Star Times

OPINION: Let’s honour the Australian way in sport by kicking them while they’re down.

Punter Ponting’s meltdown during the Ashes debacle at the MCG might have drawn more sympathy if you didn’t recall Steve Waugh’s snipe at Herschelle Gibbs in a world cup final, “You’ve just dropped the

Continue reading Ashes to ashes: Ockers who hit an all-time low

Aussies lose Ashes on home soil

Ausfailure sh!thouse even at cricket now

AUSTRALIA 98 and 9-258 (Haddin 55no, Watson 54, Bresnan 4-50) lost to ENGLAND 513 (Trott 168no, Cook 82, Siddle 6-75) by an innings and 157 runs.

ENGLAND’s 24-year wait to leave Australia with the Ashes is over.

The visitors needed just under 20 overs on day

Continue reading Aussies lose Ashes on home soil

Aus Bends Over For Pakistanis

Bluey Crackersport at Headingly Watching Ausfailure Lose, Again


So long ago. That was the last time Ausfailure were sh!thouse enough for the world’s worst cricket team, Pakistan, to cream them

But overnight at Headingly in Leeds Ausfailure relented and after a humiliating 1st innings of just a meagre 88 they served their

Continue reading Aus Bends Over For Pakistanis

All Out For 88

Ausfailure’s woes continue to worry the loser nation as their once unbeatable cricket team takes it fair and square up the clacker by going all out for 88 from cricket minnows Pakistan.

Ausfailure faces England in the Ashes series in 126 days and are on track for yet another dicking.

Prime Minister Jules Gillard was

Continue reading All Out For 88

Running Scared

Ausfailure Nil

Unlike serious sports websites like which offer expert analysis of Ausfailure’s sporting bed-sh!ts it’s just fuggen wrong to see other websites making fun of the craparse form of the former penile colony.

Ausfailure’s dire sh!theap sports teams are a serious problem and it’s not a good look to see people

Continue reading Running Scared

More Misery For Aussie Couch Potatos

Aussie Coach Potato Dean is beside himself with grief over cricket loses

During the match fixing era it was pretty common for current world champion whingers Ausfailure to return a win divvy. However for whatever reason it’s now almost impossible to find anything that you would be prepared to back Ausfailure winning, other

Continue reading More Misery For Aussie Couch Potatos

Ausfailure – A Girl’s Blouse Paradise

Ausfailure’s long suffering sports fan jokers were today shamed by a bunch of girl’s blouse wearers as their women’s cricket team succeeded to do what none of their men can do – they beat New Zealand at something.

New Zealand is a small sparsely populated group of islands in the Pacific and current rugby league

Continue reading Ausfailure – A Girl’s Blouse Paradise

Another Ausfailure – Part 23,201 in this month’s series

Well done to the Ausfailure 20/20 team for handing yet another world title to the opposition. And who prey tell is the latest sports superstar to lower the Aussie trousers?

England. Yes, that’s what I said, England. The country that until this morning had never won a limited overs world title despite 35 years of

Continue reading Another Ausfailure – Part 23,201 in this month’s series

Ocker Cricketers Lose The Plot, Again

As Ausfailure’s cricket team and fans reel and mourn it’s now legendary ability to bowl underarm to secure victories against real sports teams at least they are not laying down and doing bugger all about it like the rest of their lazy fellow country losers.

When the Green and Yellow losers from Down Underarm faced

Continue reading Ocker Cricketers Lose The Plot, Again

Ausfailure Humiliation Addiction Continues

As the sad and sorry brokenhearted people of Ausfailure struggle to come to terms with their new found status as the World’s Easybeats at Sport another humiliation has fallen upon them.

Yesterday they actually lost a game of cricket to New Zealand.

Yes, New Zealand, a country that struggles to get 11 people to play

Continue reading Ausfailure Humiliation Addiction Continues

Cricket World Cup Over According To Aussies

The cricket World Cup in South Africa has been decided, according to a poll taken overnight in Australia.

Most Aussies now believe with New Zealand safely out of the contest the title is all but Australias.

‘There was only one nation that could seriously challenge us’ said a Queensland pig breeder ‘and that was our

Continue reading Cricket World Cup Over According To Aussies

Pope Outraged By Off The Cuff Outburst

The head of the Roman Catholic Church Pope David has expressed ‘deep concern’ at the ongoing oppression suffered by catholics who play cricket in Australia.

‘The Australians have stooped to a new level today” he said. ‘No wonder they grow up the way they do”

The Pope was referring to Aussie cricketing golden boy Shane

Continue reading Pope Outraged By Off The Cuff Outburst