World’s Worst Service : Official

Only In Ausfailure

Many people visiting the third world often complain of the bad service they get and now a list has been compiled of the world’s worst culprits.

As expected Ausfailure is the worst offender.

It’s the sales assistant who doesn’t end her personal phone call when you walk into the store. Or

Continue reading World’s Worst Service : Official

Evans Sh!ts Tour De France Bed

Aussie Cadel Evans Finishes Stage 9 A Loser

After just one day at the front of the field Ausfailure’s great white hope for sporting glory predictably crapped out of the Tour De France overnight as dreams of victory remain just that – dreams.

Cadel Evans’ hopes of becoming Australia’s first Tour de France champion

Continue reading Evans Sh!ts Tour De France Bed

Australasian Makes World’s Best

A player from New Zealand, a small sparsely populated group of islands somewhere in the Pacific, has made the top 11 players of the 2010 World Cup.

Ausfailure immediately claimed him as one of their own due to the fact that no one from Ausfailure was good enough to make the grade.

New Zealand was

Continue reading Australasian Makes World’s Best

Ausfailure Makes World Cup Rankings

Ausfailure Nil

While the Sockerlose crashed and burned as predicted by this website at the FIFA World Cup at least all is not lost.

Harry Kewell has come out near the top of top website guardian.co.uk player ratings.

Little old New Zealand did pretty well too.

All Whites Ryan Nelsen and Mark Paston are

Continue reading Ausfailure Makes World Cup Rankings

Running Scared

Ausfailure Nil

Unlike serious sports websites like www.ausfailure.com which offer expert analysis of Ausfailure’s sporting bed-sh!ts it’s just fuggen wrong to see other websites making fun of the craparse form of the former penile colony.

Ausfailure’s dire sh!theap sports teams are a serious problem and it’s not a good look to see people poking

Continue reading Running Scared

Anyone For Tennis?

Love All For Ausfailure

Lleyton Hewitt’s defeat in the Mens Singles at Wimbledon ends Ausfailure’s dire participation in both Singles events as Jarmila Groth had earlier lost in straight sets in the Women’s event. At least they both lasted longer than 6th seed Sam Stosur who crashed out on the first day of the

Continue reading Anyone For Tennis?

Famine Declared

Ausfailure – Desperate for any help

Rugby League, Rugby Union, Cricket, Soccer, Fly Fishing, Formula 1, and now Tennis. There is breaking news for Ausfailure – and it’s all bad, bad bad.

With their nation currently undergoing major upheaval following the removal of their prime minister by the mining companies and coming to terms

Continue reading Famine Declared

More Misery For Aussie Couch Potatos

Aussie Coach Potato Dean is beside himself with grief over cricket loses

During the match fixing era it was pretty common for current world champion whingers Ausfailure to return a win divvy. However for whatever reason it’s now almost impossible to find anything that you would be prepared to back Ausfailure winning, other than

Continue reading More Misery For Aussie Couch Potatos

Mission Accomplished

It's Official – Ausfailure Lose 2010 World Cup

The long suffering misery guts fans of Ausfailure are rueing the crap performances of their sockerlose team as it wings it’s way back from a successful mission to lose back to back soccer world cups for a second successive time in a row. In 2006 the

Continue reading Mission Accomplished

Two Time Aussie Losers Heading Home

Sockerlose Homecoming

Back to back Fifa World Cup losers the Sockerlose are in transit to the Airport and heading home after securing defeat on the biggest sports stage in the world just minutes ago.

Ausfailure secured defeat in the opening round of the tournament when they crashed 4 nil against a rookie German side.

Continue reading Two Time Aussie Losers Heading Home

NZ Rugby Team Pips Ausfailure By 45 Points

Ausfailure came as close to beating New Zealand at anything as they have for nearly 25 years when they lost the Junior World Rugby Championship yet again.

NZ 1 – Ausfailure Nil, Again

New Zealand has retained the world junior rugby championship, thumping Australia 62-17 in this morning’s final in Rosario, Argentina.

The Kiwis

Continue reading NZ Rugby Team Pips Ausfailure By 45 Points

Aussie Whingers Told To Shut TF Up, Again

Whinge, whinge, bleat, bleat, woe is me.

Ausfailure is embarrassing itself on the world stage and showing the world what a bunch of whingers they really are deep down where it counts, as rugby league fans knew all along.

[Source and Full Story]

DESPITE sharing the frustration of the players after watching the Socceroos

Continue reading Aussie Whingers Told To Shut TF Up, Again

They’ve Been Doing It All Day Ref!

1/. Stop Cheating 2/. Stop Whinging 3/. Play Football

It’s official, world champion whingers Ausfailure are also world champion cheats. FIFA has tried to dull the droning whining of the Aussie losers as they whinge and bleat and belly ache about the refs doing their jobs.

[Source and Full Story]

ON THE eve of

Continue reading They’ve Been Doing It All Day Ref!

“We’ve never been given the fair go” bleat Sockerlose

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

While the world sits up and watches as the All Whites from New Zealand, a small sparsely populated group of islands somewhere in the pacific and current rugby league world champions, upstage their big mouthed and small dicked not so neighborly neighbors from the west Ausfailure at the FIFA World Cup Ausfailure is

Continue reading “We’ve never been given the fair go” bleat Sockerlose

NZ Beat World Champs, Again

NZ's Trophy

More humiliation for former world champs at everything Ausfailure as their idols New Zealand, a small sparsely populated group of islands somewhere in the pacific beat world champion football stars Italy at the FIFA World Cup. New Zealand are 78th ranked dreamers in the world of football and were expected to totally

Continue reading NZ Beat World Champs, Again

Johns ‘you can’t be apologising all your life for being an arsehole.’

Johnsy Looks Into Racism In Sport

Racist druggie Andrew Johns was today searching for a sole supporter as his reputation as a top Aussie was under further attack from his countrymen. Johns looks set to be denied Immortal status for being a racist.

He has been dumped as coaching consultant by The Eels.

Sources

Continue reading Johns ‘you can’t be apologising all your life for being an arsehole.’

Moore Misery For Sockerlose

Laughing Stock

Ausfailure remain winless in the FIFA World Cup as they lose to Ghana in a 1 all draw. To add insult to humiliation they have lost star hot head Harry Kewell who was red carded and Craig Moore received a caution in a scrappy and ill disciplined performance by the Sockerlose.

Meanwhile

Continue reading Moore Misery For Sockerlose

Losing Your Kewell

Another Red Card to add to the Kewellection

Ausfailure’s Sockerlose once more proved how hard it is for a team of ockers to play within the rules as they watched their second player in as many matches red carded in the FIFA World Cup. 24 minutes into the Ghana v Ausfailure match the ref

Continue reading Losing Your Kewell

Wannabes 1 Match Winning Streak Ends

The Loserbies

Ausfailure’s forlorn sporting hopes were in tatters tonight as the ruggeroid team’s world cup preparations went down the gurgler. Already having to settle for having New Zealand, a small sparsely populated group of islands somewhere in the pacific, take possession of the rugby league world cup, Ausfailure now faces little chance on

Continue reading Wannabes 1 Match Winning Streak Ends

Smith Makes It Three In A Row

L to R: Smith, Inglis and Slater prepare for Origin

Origin of the Species star Melbourne Storm captain Cameron Smith has made it three in a row.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/nrl/smiths-three-contracts/sto…

NRL salary cap investigators have discovered champion hooker Cameron Smith had THREE separate contracts with Melbourne Storm.

One was registered with the NRL, one was in

Continue reading Smith Makes It Three In A Row