Ausfailure’s Olympic Meltdown Continues

Source New Zealand Herald gives up a roundup of just how badly the former penile colony is taking the current wave of failure at the London Olympics.

Australia’s Olympic chiefs could do well to think about issuing Kevlar vests to their team.

With unexpected failures in the Games’ opening days, the media flak is already

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Gillard To Blame For Ausfailure’s Olympic Sh!t The Bed

Gillard To Blame For Ausfailure Being Sh!t At Sports For The Last Decade

It’s official.

Ausfailure’s 24 million sore losers have found a scapegoat for their craparse London Olympics effort.

Julia Gillard is the reason the Aussies haven’t been able to cheat a few wins in London.

Gillard became prime minister after former leader

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Sporting Losses Have Positive Side Effect

Ausfailure AKA Soft Cock Cafe

A decade of a sporting humiliation in Ausfailure men’s sport has had a positive side effect according to latest data from the former penile colony.

Sales of men’s jizz mags has dropped dramatically over the last few years according to media reports.

The latest circulation audit, released this weekend,

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Aussies Celebrate Another Humiliating Loss

Sporting Failure Capital of the World Ausfailure has once more lowered the bar on how embarrassing it’s successive sporting humiliations can go with a predictable loss to Samoa.

Sources from Samoa say they were not surprised to have knocked off the Super 14 champions. “Yeah pro, we won, but when you look at it, we

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Eat A Koala? Yeah Right


Car stickers suggesting people should eat koalas have outraged environmental groups, the RSPCA and politicians in Brisbane.

The stickers feature a black knife and fork crossing over the top of the Redland City Council’s colourful koala logo with the words Save The Redlands … Eat a Koala.

The stickers and

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Ausfailure’s Soft Spot For Crime Denied

Intelligent people watching as Ausfailure parades it’s world famous criminals all over the TV as rugby league stars can be excused for wondering if they are watching a street gang celebrate it’s crimes.

When the NR-Hell awarded Andrew Johns the title of World’s Greatest Player some wondered if they wanted other players to assimilate Johns

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Report reveals deep racial divides in Oz


CANBERRA – A decade-long study has uncovered a disturbing level of ill-will towards Muslims, Jews and Asians across Australia.

The study, which identifies ethnic and racial tensions by state, suburb and rural areas, was released as divisions continued to emerge over anti-Muslim feeling within the federal Coalition.

It also follows appeals by Immigration

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Soccerlose Choke, Again

After teasing Aussie sports fans with crushing wins over Uzbekistan, Bahrain and India Aussie’s World Cup failures the Soccerlose once more choked badly when it counted and fell over losing to Japan in the Asia Cup Final.

The Soccerlose also lost to Japan the last time they made the final as well, so at least

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Whinger! Salute to another great Australian trait

Any Aussie who tells you they are not a nation of loser whinging halfwits just needs to be reminded of Kangalose Coach Ricky Stuart’s bleating moaning whingefest that cost him his job after his pack of moaners choked again against New Zealand in a big game, but it’s nice to see the daily press in

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Ashes to ashes: Ockers who hit an all-time low

PHIL GIFFORD – Sunday Star Times

OPINION: Let’s honour the Australian way in sport by kicking them while they’re down.

Punter Ponting’s meltdown during the Ashes debacle at the MCG might have drawn more sympathy if you didn’t recall Steve Waugh’s snipe at Herschelle Gibbs in a world cup final, “You’ve just dropped the

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Ausfailure’s decline as an aquatic superpower was again emphasised at the World Short-Course Championships in Dubai. In case you missed it, the former penile colony finished ninth behind the likes of Spain and Brazil. The London Olympics are only a year away and the bulk of Ausfailure’s medals traditionally come from the pool. Whingers suggest

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Ausfailure Wins Poofter Competition

NZ Male Model and All Black Dan Carter In His Lingerie Photo Shoot

Aussies shed tears of pride last night as their poofter team finally managed to out poofter fellow poofters the All Blacks. The All Blacks are a team of male models from New Zealand who have been on a winning streak

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Boat People Help Loser Nation At Games

Officials Check For Medal Hopefuls

Not normally known for opening their arms to visitors Ausfailure does of course have it’s famous double standard when people trying to escape other countries are good at sport.

Being good at sport in Ausfailure is also good for keeping you out of jail if the missus needs snotting

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Snatching Defeat From The Jaws Of Victory

Ausfailure wrestler Hassene Fkiri's brain fart costs certain medal at the Commonwealth Games on Tuesday.

It’s often said that you can always tell an Aussie, but you can’t tell him much.

This is because so many of them are stupid.

Look at Aussie Gold Medal hopeful Hassene Fkiri. Fkiri was chasing Ausfailure’s first Commonwealth

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Next Top Muddle

Another one from the ‘Only in Ausfailure department’ as the wrong winner is announced on Ausfailure’s reality TV show ‘Next Top Model’.

Show host Sarah Murdoch wasn’t told who won so ended up announcing the loser as the winner. After the loser had made her victory speech she was them told that like most Aussies

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Aus Bends Over For Pakistanis

Bluey Crackersport at Headingly Watching Ausfailure Lose, Again


So long ago. That was the last time Ausfailure were sh!thouse enough for the world’s worst cricket team, Pakistan, to cream them

But overnight at Headingly in Leeds Ausfailure relented and after a humiliating 1st innings of just a meagre 88 they served their arses

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Money Changes Hands As Fighter Performs 10/10 Backflip On Dive

10 out of 10 for this dive?

Was it a fit up? The bookies say it was…

The blokes counting the money says it wasn’t.

DANNY Green has performed the ultimate backflip, claiming Paul Briggs didn’t take a dive and was legitimately hurt by his glancing punch in last night’s controversial IBO

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All Out For 88

Ausfailure’s woes continue to worry the loser nation as their once unbeatable cricket team takes it fair and square up the clacker by going all out for 88 from cricket minnows Pakistan.

Ausfailure faces England in the Ashes series in 126 days and are on track for yet another dicking.

Prime Minister Jules Gillard was

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Aussie Teens Steal 6 Grand On School Trip

Aussie School Kids On Shopping Spree

A group of teenagers from Ausfailure on a school trip to New Zealand stole $6000 of merchandise during a four-hour shoplifting spree in Queenstown at the weekend.

[Original Story]

The group of 16 boys, aged between 14 and 16, narrowly avoided arrest and prosecution for youth offending, police

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Ocker Expelled From Tour For Head Butting Kiwi Opponent

Renshaw – On His Bike

Ocker boofheads are everywhere in sport. When you can’t win it fair, the Aussie cheats.

Well, that turned to custard for Aussie boofhead Mark Renshaw on the Tour De France.

Renshaw was expelled from the Tour after helping Mark Cavendish, his teammate, win Stage 11 yesterday.

Renshaw, the lead-out

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