Australia Storm Into Second Place



In unbelievable scenes today Australia stormed into 2nd place in the Olympics. They sit on 11 points behind arch rivals and idols, the Americans.

The Prime Minsters Office has declared September 18th an annual national holiday to celebrate reaching what many said was an unattainable goal by collecting so many second prizes. The day will be known as Number 2 Day and the bill will be picked up from a tax on Aboriginal Arrests.

The newly appointed King Of Sydney’s Queens, King Packy The Second, said that the result showed how much it meant to the average Australian to strive your guts out and come second. ‘We have worked very hard to achieve this goal and our reward is to stand alongside our Idols, the Americans.’

Red Beret, of the Sydney People’s Militia and Squash Club, said that King Packys announcement would be condemned by all true Australians.

“The proletarian population reject and condemn the reactionary imperialistic excuses uttered by the corrupt and hypocritical lapdogs of state capitalist soviet hegemony in cahoots with the neo fascist middle class extremists and anarchists and other class criminals.”

“Not only that, but it clashes with the grand final”

Meanwhile in other news the Romanian team today went on a hunger strike in protest at food poisoning. Romania contend that they have been served Corn Flakes spiked with Anabolic Steroids.

Romania have, under an obscure section of the rules, offered to pay a fine rather than face expulsion for returning positive tests to traceable drugs, and it is believed the Olympic Committees are ready to announce their acceptance of the deals once the kickbacks have been finalised

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