Once considered as Australian as tying down a Kangaroo Sport, Waltzing Matilda was today officially withdrawn as a candidate for the new national anthem.
President of the Queens Republic of Australia, King Packy The Second said he regretted having to withdraw the song but he reiterated “If we have to pay for it then we’ll simply find something we can steal elsewhere, the Yanks can go and waltz with a drunken panda for all I care” He said in a written statement.
The shocker knocker to the Ocker rocker came about when it was discovered that the song was part of a number of things stolen as the nation came to terms with it’s identity, said Queensland based historian Oswald P Wrong.
“In the olden days when we were getting the joint off the ground we had to just grab whatever we could. First it was the land, then came the other guff” he advised.
“We have never really had a national anthem in this part of Australasia” said Prong. “The Kiwis haven’t come up with anything yet, but as soon as they do we’ll get Crowded House to release it” he continued. The President stated in a speech to medical counsel that he wished the populace to vote instead for his favorite, The Star Spangled Banner.
“I really think the yanks would sit up and notice it if we used their national anthem, hopefully they’ll actually make us the newest American state, and then we can start killing prisoners” the King frothed.
Unnamed officials speaking exclusively with this reporter have refused to comment on the Kings statement sparking speculation among analysts that this was not significant enough to speculate on, even though they concede that if it were, it could be very embarrassing to the government.
Local musician unions spokesperson KaTie Fourente condemned the Presidents speech as ‘more communistic babble’ and called for people to vote for ‘God Save The Queens’.
It is understood that both ordinary Australians see the calls as a knee jerk reaction to the popularity of ‘Goodbye Norma Jean (2001 Version)’ by male heart throb Elton John. Sources rejected reports that the Government had almost approved of one of Elton Johns other hits “Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say”
Sources close to a source confirmed that while nothing was confirmed that did not confirm that confirmation may soon be confirmed.
This was yet to be confirmed as we went to publication.
Stay tuned.
Goodbye Norma Jean (2001)
Good God I’m a prong
Though I never, knew that before,
You had the grace to call me one,
When those around me lied.
We’ve crawled out of the woodwork
And we’ve whispered into our brains
We gave our foe the pineapple
And we often change our name.
And good God I’m a prong
Like the young man in the 42nd row
We see ourselves as something more than exceptional
More than just another prong.
And it seems to me
We live our lives
Like a Kanga in the shed.
Never knowing where to turn to when the ropes dug in.
And I would have liked to buy you
But I was just a kid
The Kanga bummed out long ago but the legend never did.
