Lausanne To Sue ‘Aussie Fraudsters’

Lawyers representing the town of Lausanne are poised to claim 100 million dollars in damages against Australian fraudsters.

Lausanne is home to the IOC headquarters, the Olympic Museum (where an exhibit on the Tour De France is on show), as well as the headquarters of more than a dozen international sporting federations. Though a busy economic and financial center, Lausanne is one of Europe’s most pleasant cities to live in.

UCI, the body ruling international cycling, is based in Lausanne, and 2000 is its centennial year. Lausanne is a regular venue for world championships in many other sports, such as ice skating, and it holds every year one of the most prestigious track and field meetings.

“All the Aussies have ever done is catch a few trout and splash about in the spa pool getting intoxicated” said a spokesperson.

“Their main sport is AFL and in that they give you points for missing”, he guffawed, “No wonder they are doing so well at coming second”.

Australian Officials denounced the lawsuit as sour grapes.

“Just because we are not the official sporting capital of the world doesn’t mean the we shouldn’t be”

“If we were not so brilliant at dipping out of first prize then the tables would be turned”

Officials denounced the Yahoo story that confirmed the official status of World Sports Capital on Lausanne.

“Yahoo? Never heard of it” said one official.

“Ask me what Boohoo means” he sobbed.

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