Globalisation To Blame: Clark

Aussie Spokesman

Aussie Spokesman

New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark today blamed New Zealand’s poor showing on the medal table on globalisation.

“It’s just not fair” she said.

“We can’t afford to buy medals like some countries, and even if we could, my Government would oppose it” said Clark

Clark said as a small country New Zealand had to look at the big picture and get it’s priorities right.

“Unless we adopt an arrogant attitude and were prepared to cheat to win,” she said, “we will simply have to make do with being the best we can be”.

Danny Morrison, Minister for Mediocrity, said Clarks speech was tremendously average and “should inspire New Zealand’s athlete’s to keep on giving it their ordinary best shot in Sydney”

“Sometime’s” he said, “an average day for a Kiwi was better than good enough to win the odd medal, and that’s always nice as well”

Drunken Australian TV Hosts critical of New Zealand’s efforts today labelled the Kiwi response as “the typical sort of response you would get from a Kiwi sheila and a poofter cricketer”. The host was in mid sentence pouring further scorn on the Kiwi effort when he broke wind, and unfortunately followed through, later falling over and falling asleep

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