12 Year Drought Over

Cathy Freeman may have upset 31% of Australians by having the audacity to light the Olympic flame while currently being an Aboriginal but she has at least broken a 12 year drought on track Gold Medals for her country Australia.

Remarkably over 64% of Australia’s medal have been collected from messing about at the beach and we are languishing badly at real sports.

“It’s all very well to get medals for p!ssing about in the sand in your thongs with a tinnie, eyeing up the neighbors wife’s jugs while playing volleyball and so forth, but at the end of the day it’s just mentally playing with yourself” said a drunken TV presenter.

“Cripes, even the Kiwis have won a Gold Medal on the water which just goes to show how easy they must be to get.” he chundered.

Freeman cruised to victory in the last 100 metres of her gold medal run.

An excited Australian Official said “It’s great to finally get a gold on the track, at least we can thank Cathy for that if nothing else”

Freeman faced enormous pressure from within her own country due to her being aboriginal and proud of it.

“These darkies are supposed to be ashamed of their colour, we work tirelessly to see to it” said Senior Lecturer in Advanced Racism at Brisbane Tech, Shaun Curlies.

“I take this as a personal failure to see a rockape running around with that monkey flag” said Katie Hatie a spokeswomen of Sydney’s growing Skinhead movement.

Prime Minister John Howard said he hoped the win would be well received by the Aboriginal community.

“Now hopefully they’ll get off our backs for stealing their country” he said.

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