Ocker Expelled From Tour For Head Butting Kiwi Opponent

Renshaw - On His Bike

Renshaw - On His Bike

Ocker boofheads are everywhere in sport. When you can’t win it fair, the Aussie cheats.

Well, that turned to custard for Aussie boofhead Mark Renshaw on the Tour De France.

Renshaw was expelled from the Tour after helping Mark Cavendish, his teammate, win Stage 11 yesterday.

Renshaw, the lead-out man for Cavendish on the HTC Columbia team, three times head-butted Julian Dean of New Zealand – the lead-out man for Tyler Farrar on Garmin-Transitions – in an apparent bid to push him out of the way during the sprint finish.

“This is cycling, it’s not wrestling,” Jean-Francois Pescheux, the course director, said before adding that removing Renshaw was “severe” punishment, but that his violation was “flagrant”.

“There are rules to respect.”

“Rules, Scmools” said Ausfailure’s prime minister Jules Gillard during a tanning session.

“Winning is all that counts for us in Ausfailure and we don’t care if we have to cheat to win, as long as at the end of the day we win something” Gillard said.

Renshaw’s early exit follows Ausfailure’s bully boy Socker thugs throwing their pool games away by resorting to biff and showing no respect for the rules and Melbourne Storm players having their grand final wins removed from the record books due to salary cap rorts committed over the past 5 years.

Cheating, dishonesty and corruption are part of the culture for Ausfailure and many argue that Aussie sports stars should be allowed to cheat to win.

“We are simply not good enough to win anything fair and square and that sucks big time” said a rugby league player well over the cap.

“Winning is vital to us as we have a serious inferiority complex and we need to pretend we are better than the rest even if we aren’t. How can we do that unless we cheat?” he said in a side deal.

The world’s leading expert on Ausfailure’s loser mentality Oswald P Wrong of Bummee NSW said there was some merit in the argument that Aussie’s should be allowed to cheat.

“The New Zealand rugby union team always do a haka because that is a cultural thing for them, so you could put forward the argument that as cheating is a cultural thing for Aussie’s they should be allowed to do it” Wrong said.

“The problem is that losing is also a cultural thing for Aussies too so you’d have to let them cheat, but then you would have to remove the victory and show them to be losers, much like the NR-Hell did with the Storm cheats” Wrong professed.

In other news the owners of Melbourne Storm held a news conference to reveal the amount of cheating that was used to win at games of rugby league.

The cheating had been going on for 5 years.

Players tangled up in the cheating include many Queensland representatives.

Queensland coincidentally proved to be unbeatable in representative matches over the same period.

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