More Misery For Aussie Couch Potatos

Aussie Coach Potato Dean is beside himself with grief over cricket loses

During the match fixing era it was pretty common for current world champion whingers Ausfailure to return a win divvy. However for whatever reason it’s now almost impossible to find anything that you would be prepared to back Ausfailure winning, other than a crying in your beer contest.

With tiny pacific nation New Zealand romping in with an emphatic win in the rugby league world cup stripping the former rugby league super power of not only it’s last trophy but also claiming the scalp of yet another national coach following Wayne Bennett’s failed Tri Nations campaign as Ricky Stuart vented and railed the nation’s outrage at the match referee the next day over breakfast, the world has become used to Ausfailure losing and whinging.

Their recent failures at the FIFA World Cup saw them fulfil the pin sharp predictions of top sports website which foretold of humiliation and disgrace for Ausfailure on the world’s biggest stage.

Hot Head’s Harry Kewell and Tim Cahill affirmed what utter liability’s they are with their ill disciplined rule breaking performances as the Sockerlose crashed and burned and made prongs of the country in South Africa. Even tiny island nation New Zealand out performed Ausfailure, again. The only good thing that we can say about the Aussie campaign is thank God it’s over.

But wait, there’s more.

The cricket.

Once unbeatable Ausfailure is now the easy beat.

New Zealand, Malawi, Tonga and even England are lining up and kicking Ausfailure’s fat and blistered arse.

Yes, that what I said, England.

As we speak, and Aussie cry and whinge, England is on the precipice to become Cricket’s new powerhouse.

Aussies we spoke to are beside themselves with grief.

“I’m beside myself with grief” said Dean O’Papa, a fan from Pullatooth Queensland.

Websites and blogs are piddling themselves at the prospect of Ausfailure losing the Ashes, the T20 and now the ODI world titles to England.

This article [Source and Full Story] sums up the online mood of those laughing at Ausfailure’s sh!thouse efforts.

— England is now one win away from sealing the series. Moreover, if they win the series, they will for the first time established their dominance over Australia in all three forms of cricket. They first defeated Aussies in Ashes, then they won the T20 championship and now they are close to winning ODI series. Commenting on their victory, English skipper Andrew Strauss said, “Australia have had a very good 12 months or so, and they played well against us last summer, but ultimately that was last summer. Times have moved on, and I’m happy with where we are as a side at the moment.” —

Typically polite as only the English could be.

Well, sometimes…

[Source and Full Story]

— What is incontestable is that England’s winning run goes on. That is 10 wins in all competitions, going back to the start of the World Twenty20, and seven successive wins in 50-overs cricket, their best run for 13 years. —

Aussie’s are gutted by the truth and new prime minister Jules Gillard is considering new laws to prohibit the amount of runs opponents can score against Ausfailure in future matches.

“We will do whatever is required to give out lads the much needed help they require in order to be competitive again” said the PM’s office.

The office has already approved a return to underarm bowling in close matches, but given the current form of the Crookeroos it could be years before they are in a position to capitalise on that.

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