Sex, Lies, Racism, Drugs, Violence, Rugby League Has Got It All

Rubgy League Players Get Ready To Party

While some argue rugby league is simply a showcase and feeder for up and coming AFL talent they forget that rugby league also provides some of the best xxx rated entertainment available. Graphic stories of group sex romps, consensual or otherwise, have titillated the public for most of the decayed.

Drugs, both recreational and performance enhancing, have also played their part in ensuring the public never reads any good news about the sport.

Racist taunts have made the headlines repeatedly since dream-time began.

As Melbourne Storms multi-contracted players have shown, lies and more lies are at the heart of the games success.

And last night ensured that any attempts to present rugby league as game that can be watched for pure sporting pleasure were well and truly canceled out by the out and out thug quality of the 26 players on the park.

Mike Berk, a rugby league observer for over 150 years, calls the current game ‘pornography with boots on’.

“It’s what it is” says the spritely Berk.

“The thing about pornography is no one is enriched by it, all parties are losers – so it is with rugby league these days” Berk says.

Former porn star Linda Lovelace refused to comment as her mouth was full.

Former rugby league fan Oswald P Wrong said there was a lot of merit in Berk’s argument.

“As a fan I felt exploited by the fact that the game had become a platform for sex, drugs and violence. I expected racism because it’s such an integral part of white culture that you can never escape it’ Wrong said.

“As a teenager I didn’t really give a rat’s arse if I got my porn via stick books or the telly, but as one grows up you tend to become more discerning, and frankly, a little bored by it all” said the former fan.

Queensland fan Foursome Bro said Wrong was wrong.

“Rugby league isn’t pornography at all, and I should know” said the self confessed deviant.

“Berk and Wrong are typical white fruitcakes who focus on the narrow issue of the game itself, but rugby league players have sex organs, and we want to see how they use them, they also have noses, we want to know what they snort up them, and rugby league players have racial views and we want to see them exposed as well” Bro said.

“If you want to see pornography I can share some of my favorite websites with you, at present I’m really enjoying ceaserian porn images – great stuff” Bro frothed.

Bro said anyone who claimed rugby league was violent had obviously never had an argument on usenet with him.

Ausfailure’s prime minister said it was unfortunate that rugby league had attracted such a lot of bad press recently and suggested the answer would be for a media company to run the game.

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