A Sad Little Country Waits

Ausfailure

While the world watches, piddling itself as the joint that used to brag about itself as the Sporting Capital of the World crashes and burns on the international stage a little girl from Ausfailure waits. Samantha Stosur today has the forlorn hopes of the entire embattled nation of Ausfailure on her shoulders as she squares off against pint sized Italian Francesca Schiavone.

Ausfailure has suffered ingloriously in the past few weeks as their once proud sporfts trophies were rapidly stripped and shipped back to countries more entitled to call themselves champions.

Perhaps the most painful was when Ausfailure lost the rugby league world championship to their arch rivals and heroes the Kiwis from New Zealand, a small sparsely populated group of islands somewhere in the Pacific.

That began a house of cards like collapse that this week saw lowly ranked England walk away with an easy victory over losers Ausfailure in yet another world cricket title.

Tennis might not be much of a team sport, except in the doubles, which Ausfailure also lost, but Aussie’s are almost to frightened to turn on their 3D TV sets today in case the news tells them that it’s just another sport that they are crap at.

While Stosur, an immigrant from Serbia and currently renting a small falt in Adelaide in order to qualify as an Aussie, might not be up there with rising tennis star Laura Robson who recently labeled her tennis playing rivals as a bunch of sluts, but nevertheless Ausfailure is desperate not to lose everything in sight again and again and again.

“F*** that for a f**ken joke, the f**ken lineman’s f**ken Oh f**ken kay with f**ken it so f**ken what the f**k is your f**ken problem you f**ken f**kheaded f**ken f**kwad? F**k me f**ken f**ked” said Johnthon Thurston via an audio hookup during a recent football match. The comments were later OKayed by the NR-Hell.

Golfing legend Greg Norman has also sent the lass his best wishes.

“I hope that she doesn’t choke and prove to be a big time loser like me” said Norman.

The Ausfailure womens cricket team wished her well saying that winning was great, but the group sex afterwards did tend to make one’s twat a bit sore

Stosur also received some encouragement today from Ausfailure’s 2009 Women’s Rugby Union Player of the Year and banned lesbian predator Tricia Brown who encouraged the tennis star to eat the opposition as as easily as the Sheilaroos rugby team beat the South African girls last year.

“Licking the Bok was the best felling in the world” said Brown.

Aussie men are desperate for a win so are likely to fall about the place in fits of hysteria should the Aussie lass not lose.

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