Ocker Cricketers Lose The Plot, Again

As Ausfailure’s cricket team and fans reel and mourn it’s now legendary ability to bowl underarm to secure victories against real sports teams at least they are not laying down and doing bugger all about it like the rest of their lazy fellow country losers.

When the Green and Yellow losers from Down Underarm faced their second straight defeat to the New Zealand Slack Caps recently the humiliation was just too much for one of Aussies losers to stand.

So he went and head butted his opponant.

“If we can’t win the game, at least we can win the punch up” said a drunk Aussie fan before chundering.

Firebrand fast bowler Mitchell Johnson was so fed up at Napier where New Zealand stunned the Aussies with a last over victory that was marred by Johnson’s extraordinary confrontation with Kiwi hero Scott Stris who had the temerity to hit Johnson for consecutive boundaries. After the second one, he and Johnson came together mid-pitch, and bowler headbutted batsman.

Johnson was rushed past a media throng at Auckland airport and refused to comment despite his mouthy – and physical – dispay at McLean Park the night before.

But Aussie veteran Michael Hussey was happy to defend the speedster who blotted his night with a headbutt on Styris.

“It’s always happened throughout the history of the game and I’m sure it won’t be the last time that it happens.

Ausfailure’s Twice Ashes Losing captain Ricky Ponting said New Zealand deserved credit for their discipline with the ball and desperation in the field in Napier but he is demanding his players pull their socks up before tomorrow’s second match of the Chappell-Hadlee Trophy in Auckland.

Aussie fans are expected to wear ‘Bring Back The Biff’ Tee Shirts made famous by former TV and group sex star Reg Reason.

It’s been a bad run for the Aussie Cricketers since it was revealed that the ACB unsuccessfully tried to cover up leading players involvement in match fixing and Shane Warne’s mum got blamed for his positive drug test.  It never really got better with player scandals only being replaced in the newspapers by stories about how good the Aussie Cricket team has got at losing.

“The fact that they can be beaten twice in succession by a team as bad as the Slack Caps just underlines how utterly crap Aussie sport is these days” said leading Oswald P Wrong who has documented Ausfailure’s failures for over 20 years.

“It’s no surprise to me that the frustration these Aussie prongs are dealing with has resulted in them losing the plot and becoming violent” he confirmed.

“It’s the typical behavior of less intelligent people” Wrong concluded.

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