Ausfailure loses to Scotland for first time since 1982

Wallabies Captain Rocky Elsom Says Team Is Not Full Of Meatheads

Wallabies Captain Rocky Elsom Says Team Is Not Full Of Meatheads

While the world laughs uncontrollably at the growing list of Ausfailure’s sporting disasters teams that usually struggle to beat the Ockers are lining up to thrash the daylights out of them.

Take their Two Time Rugby World Cup winning  team. The Wallabies used to be the second most formidable ruggeroid team on the planet, but then the loser mentality struck and now things are so bad they almost make their Rugby League team look good.

The Wallabies have quite possibly reached their lowest point this year, losing to Scotland 9-8 at Murrayfield. It was a game that was there on a plate for Ausfailure to win, with every single notable rugby statistic supporting the visitor’s quest for a win.

But we are talking about a country that has perfected the art of losing. In this case  they just couldn’t capitalise.

The numbers at the conclusion of the match were staggering.  Ausfailure had 62% possession.  They controlled over 100 rucks, whereas the Scottish had barely 50.  The Wallabies continually attacked the Scottish via what looked for the most parts to be a very good running game.  So good, that they ran over 100 times for close to 700 attacking metres.  The Scottish managed less than half this.

Scotland also made twice as many tackles, but even worse, the home team missed 24.  The Wallabies missed just one tackle.

But the Wallabies made 14 handling errors and turned over the ball 22 times.

For a game where they looked in control for so long (with the painful exception of the scoreboard) it is a worse result than a beating at the hands of the All Blacks or Springboks could ever be.  It was the ninth ranked team in the world, a side that hadn’t beaten Ausfailure for 27 years.
Yes, that’s what I said, a side that hadn’t beaten Ausfailure for 27 years.

Ausfailure has now lost seven matches this year.

As a footnote Oswald P Wrong visited Scotland this year and spread the word about how easy it was to beat Ausfailure at pretty much everything these days. Wrong confirmed that he actually visited the Murrayfield stadium where Ausfailure suffered this humiliating defeat. Wrong also visited Headingley where Ausfailure later lost the ashes, again.

Wrong refused to confirm or deny if he placed curses on the sports ground.

“Are you kidding? Ausfailure has learned how to lose at everything, they don’t need any help from anyone” a spokesperson for Wrong was reported as saying.

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