Ausfailure Fans Emulate Ricky Stuart

weaponsFollowing the lead of disgraced former Ausfailure coach Ricky Stuart footy fans from Ausfailure are showing they are mad as hell about being losers and are not going to take it any more.

Stuart coached the Kangalose to their Rugby League World Cup loss to New Zealand and despite having what many pundits referred to ‘the best 13 players ever assembled’ for Ausfailure the team was not good enough to beat the Kiwis.

Stuart went bananas after the match and in typical sore loser fashion went on the war path. Whinging and bleating and angry at being a loser Stuart came to grief when he savaged the match referee at breakfast after the loss had sunk in.

Stuart was dumped as Ausfailure coach and Tim Sheens was appointed. Sheens also failed to beat the world champs but has so far not acted like a rabid baboon with a festering hemorrhoid over it.

But authorities are concerned about how the decade of losses is affecting the mental health of it’s population. Ausfailure has lost the ashes twice, the Rugby Union world cup twice and even their pride and joy the world fly fishing title has gone.

The less said about their appalling effort at the Beijing Olympics were they finished behind even England the better.

Fans are suffering from long term depression over their sporting woes and this weekend they went ape again.

More than 500 people wielding axes and spears turned on each other during an Australian Rules football game on the weekend.

The brawl broke out about 5pm on Sunday about 600km east of Darwin.

Police claim the fight erupted on the field when an opposing player threw the football at another player who had been awarded a free kick.

“Another player then became involved and the situation deteriorated into a large scale disturbance and the football match was called off,” a police spokeswoman said.

“However, the disturbance degenerated when community members allegedly began producing weapons including axes and spears.”

Several people received injuries as a result of the brawl.

While no arrests were made, police have confirmed a full investigation will be carried out to identify those people who were armed with weapons.

A number of weapons have been seized by police.

Four Nations tournament organizers have asked the touring party to ensure that Kangalose fans going to see Ausfailure lose the Four Nations Final in England on Saturday leave their axes and spears at the hotel.

In other news a 12 year old Sydney child who gave birth to a baby boy this month confirmed the lad would be encouraged to play for Ausfailure. The girl had been living with her 15 year old partner in her mother’s house when the future champ was conceived while her mother was just 11 years old.

“I love rooting for Ausfailure’ said the young mother.

Comments are closed.