Ausfailure Cry Foul At England Win

Left whimpering and impotent by World Champion Rugby League team New Zealand when they failed to beat the Kiwis 2 weeks ago Ausfailure spent the last fortnight whinging and talking about losing yet again to the all powerful Kiwi juggernaut.

Former hard man Jarrod Hayne even went as far to suggest there was a conspiracy to keep Ausfailure at the bottom of international rugby league.

Even Tim Sheens got the hanky out as he admitted the England and World Champion New Zealand forward packs were too tough for the Ausfailure team.

Ausfailure have failed to beat the World Champion Kiwis at the full time whistle in 3 of the last 3 finals.

As New Zealand today prepared to return home once more unbeaten by Ausfailure in a major tournament the powerful England team readies itself to beat Ausfailure in the Four Nations Final next week.

Ausfailure were once more crying foul over having to play England.

“Crikey dick Shag” said one of their smallest forwards, “if these poms can knock off the World Champion New Zealanders they are going to waltz in playing a bunch of softcoc#s like Ausfailure” he sobbed.

Sources inside the paranoid Ausfailure camp even suggested New Zealand deliberately threw the match, effectively a semi final, in order to give England a chance to beat Ausfailure again.

England lowered the Ausfailure shorts in last years World Cup tournament beating them soundly in Sydney.

The Kiwis refused to be drawn on the Ausfailure suggestions that they rigged the outcome of the match to further frustrate Ausfailure’s attempts to actually beat New Zealand at something.

Team sources suggested anyone making such a suggestion must be on drugs.

“If some loser suggested that I’d rewind the video footage and see if there was any sign of white powder in their nostrils” said a Kiwi.

England are playing outstanding football at present and thoroughly deserve their place in the final, unlike their opponents Ausfailure.

Tournament organizers were disappointed that the final included Ausfailure.

“We’d like to have the two best teams out there competing in the final but sadly Ausfailure will be there so we’ll just have to go with what we’ve got” said Ray Zerblade on behalf of the sponsor.

Meanwhile Ausfailure are sh!tting themselves leading up to the final. They have played abysmally as usual and have been unable to cheat as much as they would like.

“We had hoped to beat France by 50 like the World Champs did last week but we are simply not up to that standard” said a source close to a source.

Ausfailure’s beleaguered coach Tim Sheens confirmed that Ausfailure ‘played like crap’ against New Zealand and no one is suggesting they have improved since then.

The English team are thrilled to have a chance to beat Ausfailure again, this time at home in front of a record crowd.

Ausfailure are not giving up hope just yet and it is understood that the team will watch Trainspotting, a film about a group of losers suffering from long term drug abuse, before going out and losing the final.

In the film one junkie sh!ts the bed after failing to be able to get it up with a slapper.

“I love movies that remind me of home’ said a member of the Kangalose team.

Trainspotting – Wot A Mess!.For more of the funniest videos, click here

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