Kiwi’s Retain World Champion Status

One word: Monahan.

If you can’t win it fair, then cheat.

Monahan’s professional foul on Hohaia summed up 50 years of professional cheating by a team that claims (falsely) to be the best in the world.

With the Kangalose on the rack and the Kiwi’s rampaging through them at will Monahan played the man instead of the ball, and didn’t get away with it.

Minutes later he attempted another professional foul (a strip) and got away with it.

When it comes to cheating, Ausfailure can simply not stop itself.

Cheating is culturally accepted as part of the Ausfailure way of life. The whole world watches in astonishment as sad efforts to rig outcomes are perpetrated in the name of sport.

The incredible thing is that the Ausfailure Rugby League team is usually good enough to chance a win without cheating, but, as we know, why risk playing it fair when you can stack the odds in your favour and give yourself a leg up?

New Zealand has taken the brunt of these unsportsmanlike attacks for much longer than any of us care to remember.

Gary Freeman’s 12 week suspension. Hurricane Kearney’s eviction from contention over his tackle on Tallis. Player release regulations that instead of being clean cut are made a farce of. Chris Anderson’s Thug-Fest Tri Nations final in Auckland. Neutral refs. Hiding player eligibility certificates until you are up against the rack then producing them…

The list is endless.

And as Monahan proved, the cheating will go on no matter what. Ausfailure cannot help itself.

In Leeds, against incredible odds, with a rookie coach and a 5th string team incredibly hamstrung by Ausfailure’s cheating way of life, New Zealand did the impossible and knocked them off in the Tri Nations final with a 24 to Nil scoreline.

Some of us saw that coming.

After years of complaining to deaf ears about the need for a level playing field and being ignored New Zealand had learned how to play on an uphill playing field.

In the next Tri Nations New Zealand could not be conquered in regulation play. At half time when Ausfailure saw a draw as a chance, they got into a huddle and decided to introduce The Golden Point to tests. An incredibly arrogant attitude, but again, when you can’t win it fair, you cheat. That’s the mantra that has seen Ausfailure scramble to the top of the heap and claim hollow victory after hollow victory for 5 decades.

In 2008 New Zealand took the rugby league world cup and shoved it up the Kangalose arse.

And boy, did that hurt the collective Ausfailure sphincter or what?

This writer has been referring to the Kiwis as world champions since the Leeds final, others are now welcome to do the same.

The green and yellow cowards from Ausfailure can whinge and bleat and search for scapegoats all they like about a tournament they tried to rig in their favour, and failed.

Their cheating ways failed and the world cheered as the Kiwis hammered this point home: Cheats Never Prosper.

Ausfailure was lucky at 10 nil in the opening stages. The Kiwis had already crossed the line and been denied. Lockyer can only be thankful that phone camera footage isn’t as revealing as his duffed attempt at scoring or he would never have been in the tournament.

And just to underline what a sad arsed pack of sore losers Ausfailure can be when it counts, they give him the Man of the Match award, thereby devaluing the great players who have taken this award out over the years.

For mine, that should have gone to Jeremy Smith.

No one should be surprised by the Kiwis win. Sure, in one off tests with players locked away in NR-Hell jail cells and rushing from ESL games to airports to make the second half for their country, the Kiwis are well and truly up against it.

But put on a series where they can have a fair crack at getting tier kinks ironed out and they have proven to be unbeatable for the last 4 years.

They have earned the status of world champions, and for once, the title actually fits the team wearing it.

To Ausfailure all I can say is, go find a raw pineapple and shove it where the sun don’t shine.

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