Ausfailure Tri Nations Series Starts With Disaster

Bring Back The Boof-Head (from unconscienceness)

Bring Back The Boof-Head (from unconscienceness)

Ausfailure began their attempt to win back the Tri Nations Trophy from current champions New Zealand with a predictable effort on Saturday night at Mt Smart in Auckland, New Zealand.

As always Ausfailure insisted on an Aussie ref to assist them and as per usual they have spent the last 48 hours whinging about the ref for not being a complete and utter cheat.

Ausfailure used tactics many will find familiar including regular offside play and professional fouls in the ruck which helped secure a much need win over the World Champion Kiwi side.

Star Kiwi fullback for Ausfailure K hunt scored 2 tries giving the Kiwis 5 tries in total. Ausfailure players could only manage to cross the line twice.

Big mouthed Aussie forward Willie Mason was expected to have a huge game after spending the previous week telling the media what a hard bunch the Aussies were but came off decidedly second best when the Kiwis tested him. Mason was knocked to the ground by a huge hit from Kiwi David Kidwell and spent 2 minutes trying to get to his feet. Mason spent the rest of the match in cuckoo land.

Aussie coaching sources were livid at Mason’s treatment.

‘How dare the Kiwis tackle our players and risk injuring them’ said one source.

‘Our players are not as tough as the Kiwis and need to be protected from any harm and we will be asking the league to outlaw any tackles from the Kiwis in future matches’ said another.

Mason was keen to get square on Kidwell and has promised to forget about the football and try to back up his empty claims from last week by targetting Kidwell and and bashing him.

Kiwis were non plussed by Mason’s threats.

‘Is that the same Mason who was telling us just last week how good the Aussies were at giving as good as they get?’ said Karl R Kotanga, himself a former Kiwi biff merchant.

‘They’d do better to send in Greg Dowling’ Kotanga suggested. ‘At least he can take a couple of hundred punches’ Kotanga declared with some authority.

Meanwhile Reg Reason has apologized to Ausfailure for his Bring Back The Biff campaign.

‘I’m sorry for starting all this’ Reason said. ‘I had no idea that our boys were so soft’

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