Ausfailure Wins 20 Golds at 2008 Olympics

Desperate to enhance the image of Ausfailure as a nation of losers the Australian Olympic Committee has announced it has won 20 gold medals at the 2008 Olympics.

No Ashes, beaten by the Kiwis in Sydney for the first time since 1959, no Bledisloe Cup, no golf majors, tennis brat Lleyton Hewitt still can’t win that damned Australian Open.

It doesn’t sound like a great year for Aussie sports fans but, wait, relief is at hand – they got on the podium in the virtual Olympics.

The Australian Olympic Committee (AOC) has trumpeted a mythical 48-medal haul, including 20 golds.

If only the Olympics were held this week and not in Beijing in 2008!

Sources from Ausfailure’s over burdened mental homes hoped the news would give heart to the nation as it’s superstar rugby league players recovered in Synday following the recent Tri Nations thrashings.

The players are currently on compo and team harmony is at it’s peak.

“Willy Mason has made a lot of new friends and players are enjoying his late night visits to their rooms” said the Aussie team condom dispensing machine.

Meanwhile New Zealand prepare to play Great Britain tonight in their third game in 2 weeks.

“We expect Great Britain to be much harder to beat than Ausfailure” said an insider. “They’ll give us a tough time in the final too” he confided.

New Zealand lead the Tri Nations Series although Ausfailure were winners of the virtual event before any games were played.

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