Police Issue Warning As Ocker Sports Fans Lose Again

Victorian Police today advised that any Ockers seen to demonstrate being a poor loser would be best advised in calling into the local cop shop and picking up a copy of the new Police leaflet on ‘How to cop losing at sport all the time’.

Police hope that trying to counsel Ockers that losing can be fun without burning down stands etc.

Senior Sargent Paul Loser said that like most Ockers he hated losing, especially to the Kiwis ‘who are after all so bloody crap as a cricket team that the bookies don’t bother bribing them’.

Sources close to the Crookeroos revealed that on this ockassion they were not bribed to lose ‘we really are this bad’ the source revealed.

‘And’ he said, ‘we’ll get a darn site worse before anything is done. That’s just the way it is’.

Ocker Police agree.

Deputy Commissioner Of Sports Riots Senior Sargent Oswald P Wrong said that as Ocker teams became less and less competitive and as rules were tightened up to prevent bad sportsmanship from rotting the core of several games the Ockers have wrecked bad crowd behavior was ‘inevitable’.

‘Cripes Shag, losing as an Ocker is a shocker and who wouldn’t want to smash something after experiencing embarrassing defeat after embarrassing defeat?’

‘The Police are faced with a difficult decision’ he said, “Who do we shoot, the crowd or the opposition? It’s a toughie all righty’ he confessed.

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