Australia Announces New Test Strip

Australian Captain Ms Darren Lockyer shows off the new test strip for the paparazzi.

Australian Captain Ms Darren Lockyer shows off the new test strip for the paparazzi.

The head honchos of Australian Rugby League today announced that for all test matches against formidable third string Kiwi rugby league sides Australian Players would be kitted out in a special playing strip. A spokesman said that the new strip was designed by Australian legend Oswald P Wrong and honored the way Australia played the game against the fearsome Kiwis.

“Cripes Shag” said Wrong, ‘the Kiwis scare the livin’ sh!t out of us Ockers and they beat us even when we pack one of our own refs into the team luggage, and even when we suspend half their team they still beat us. We have got support from scumbag clubs like the great Bradford cowards to help us but there are no guarantees that we still won’t rolled the heroic Kiwi team” he dribbled.

The new strip is an all yellow knee length skirt with a chicken on the front and two feathers forming the traditional V reminiscent of jerseys from the past.

“The chicken should be our national emblem really” squawked Wrong, “certainly when it comes to playing league against the awesome Kiwis we have earned the right to display the fluffy little critter anyway” Wrong chirped.

Players will also were a digger hat whilst on test duties to protect their sensitive skin from the sun and keep the blowflies from off their face. “Willy Mason is in the squad after all” explained Wrong.

The forwards will be allowed to wear their own choice of underwear and it is expected most will opt to keep the frilly knickers they usually wear. Backs will be outfitted in special heavy duty adult nappies as they tend to sh!t themselves more than the forwards and without unlimited interchanges coaching staff are worried about chaffing.

Australian rugby league fans are ecstatic over the new outfits. “I think they look very rootable in them” said Queensland fan from Brisbane, “but I’m a bit biased as I’ve rooted most of them before” he confided. New South Wales fans are not so keen on the new look however. “I think the hemline is a little high” said one South Sydney fan from his cell. “and the high heel footy boots will look positively ghastly when they get muddy” he observed.

One insider from Canterbury was concerned that the new strip was a little too provocative and was worried that some players might give the impression they were gagging for it. “We don’t want a repeat of Coff’s Harbour at North Harbour” he mused.

Team officials could not be reached for comment as it was understood they were getting their nails done and going for bikini waxes but a source close to a source suggested that an unnamed insiders close to officials were denying rumors that any comment would be forthcoming from the officials, fueling speculation of yet another cover up.

The ARL has named the Australian side and is expected to notify the Kiwis who their team will be by the end of the first half.

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