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While Ausfailure’s losers struggle to come to grips with losing the Rugby League World Cup to New Zealand, a small sparsely populated group islands in the Pacific, the world laughed as the hapless Loseroos woke up this morning suffering from yet more serious humiliation on the world sporting stages. Noted sports commentator Bluey Crackersport was Continue reading Ausfailure’s latest horror sporting weekend A Happy Marriage – Aus Style Four women interviewed by Four Corners allege they have been involved in group sex with players or been victims of sexual abuse. Details of one group sex session, involving Nine Network star Matthew Johns when he was playing with NRL club Cronulla in 2002, were revealed last Continue reading Ausfailure’s Love Of Group Sex Under Attack Updated 28-12-2008 19:00 Only Ausfailure could offer a $1000 dollar Rugby League 2008 World Cup winning souvenir to fans of a team that hadn’t won the game yet. This ad was placed in the Daily Telegraph inviting Aussies to celebrate their win before the game. No, really We have fixed the typos Continue reading If you thought Anthony Mundine was a big headed twat, take a look at this One word: Monahan. If you can’t win it fair, then cheat. Monahan’s professional foul on Hohaia summed up 50 years of professional cheating by a team that claims (falsely) to be the best in the world. With the Kangalose on the rack and the Kiwi’s rampaging through them at will Monahan played the man instead Continue reading Kiwi’s Retain World Champion Status Updated 02-07-2008 14:30 While it is a generally accepted fact that Aussie sports people are the worlds biggest cheats due to their inability to compete effectively on a level playing field a study just released proves that they are not the only ones cheating to get by in the big league. Sports referees from Continue reading Official: Aussie Refs Admit To Being Cheats Too When Rugby League role model and celebrated national hero Andrew Johns boasted about taking banned drugs for a decade without punishment a year ago he obviously he sent a message to other athletes from Ausfailure not quite good enough to compete without cheating. That message was ‘take any drugs you like, you’ll probably get away Continue reading Ausfailure Drug Cheat Numbers Swell For Olympic Glory Pineapple House Rugby League fans from Ausfailure yesterday mourned the achievement of New Zealander Reuben Wiki in becoming the first New Zealander to play 300 first grade games in the NR-Hell. Kiwis have always struggled to make 300 games because of the way they are shafted by the corrupt jokediciary which uses a Continue reading Wiki Beats The Odds Inglis not happy at being described as a primate SoO banana bender Greg Inglis today reacted angrily to suggestions he and other Aussies resemble monkeys, despite his mid air acrobatics in the warm up to last weeks second half of the ANZAC test which NZ won 12 – 6 against Ausfailure. A handler Continue reading Inglis Reacts Angrily To Monkey Jibe New Zealand Rugby League bosses have sought the advice of their counterparts from Ausfailure as the World Champion Rugby League team came to terms with the embarrassing loss to easybeats the Kangalose in an exhibition match played to promote the game in Wellington on the weekend. Formerly known as the ANZAC Test the friendly match Continue reading Ausfailure Offers Advice On Losing For Kiwis Oswald P Wrong – World Champion Tipster Oswald P Wrong has been declared the champion tipster following his complete and utter annihilation of his opponents in the 2007 season NR-Hell competition. To mark this achievement The Oswald P Wrong Official Fan Club released this special commemorative T-shirt for losers to wear. T Shirts Continue reading OSWALD P WRONG SECURES WORLD CHAMPION TIPPING STATUS
Ausfailure Adopts New Flag Ausfailure today announced that it was adopting a new flag in recognition of it’s sporting woes over the last 2 years. The flag fittingly replaces all the stars with asterisks on the current flag. Humilitated by New Zealand in 2005 in the Tri Nations final where Willy Continue reading Ausfailure Adopts New Flag Following Second Tri Nations Humiliation Bring Back The Boof-Head (from unconscienceness) Ausfailure began their attempt to win back the Tri Nations Trophy from current champions New Zealand with a predictable effort on Saturday night at Mt Smart in Auckland, New Zealand. As always Ausfailure insisted on an Aussie ref to assist them and as per usual they have Continue reading Ausfailure Tri Nations Series Starts With Disaster As the sad and sorry brokenhearted people of Ausfailure struggle to come to terms with their new found status as the World’s Easybeats at Sport another humiliation has fallen upon them. Yesterday they actually lost a game of cricket to New Zealand. Yes, New Zealand, a country that struggles to get 11 people to play Continue reading Ausfailure Humiliation Addiction Continues Beware of the slippery slope. Great Britain coach Brian Noble has stopped crying over the Tri Nations thrashing from New Zealand on Sunday and has set his sights on beating Ausfailure next weekend. After watching his side lose 42-26 to New Zealand at Loftus Road yesterday (AEDT) – putting the Kiwis on top Continue reading Aussie The Team To Beat New Zealand were today still miles ahead of the opposition in the Tri Nations series after their all the way win against Great Britain in the 3rd Tri Nations game in London. New Zealand won the match 42 to 26. The result has devastated Great Britain who now have the impossible task of having to Continue reading NEW ZEALAND CRUISE TO EASY WIN OVER GREAT BRITAIN
The Green and Golden Shower Ausfailure today accepted that it had earned the tile of the Green and Golden Shower following the historic loss to New Zealand (again) in the Netball Test held at Waitakarie between the Silver Ferns and Ausfailure. New Zealand scored a record 61 points against the Continue reading Ausfailure: The Green and Golden Shower? Australian Referees On Tour To England pose for a team photo Referees from the NRL competition Australia have used the current Tri Nations series to embark on a bonding excercise to cement friendship and comradeship in their ranks. In the first tour of it’s kind the referees decided that touring with the Australian Continue reading Aussie Refs Join Tri Nations Tour Robbie Paul in doubt after skull surgery. Cheat Britain sources today refused to comment on rumours that Robbie Paul was out of contention to play for New Zealand in the Tri Nations series. Sources close to the Cheat Britain team in Ausfailure revealed that Paul was given a haircut before leaving Bradford and Continue reading Robbie Paul In Doubt For Tri Nations Skull of an Aussie World champion moaners Ausfailure were today awarded the Gold Medal in Whinging following a poll by legendary sports announcers. The Medal is the highest honor for whingers and until recently is was seen that England owned the rights to this annual award, but Ausfailure has creamed all the opposition Continue reading Ausfailure Lowers Bar on Whinging Bluey Crackersport in Auckland The Kiwis confirmed their rightful place at the top of international rugby league last night in Auckland when they added 26 points to their points tally in the Tri Nations Series. The top line Kangaroo side looked decidedly second rate next to the 5th string Kiwi side cobbled together Continue reading KIWIS STORM TO TOP OF TRI-NATIONS SERIES |
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