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By Bluey Crackersport, on August 8th, 2012 Source New Zealand Herald gives up a roundup of just how badly the former penile colony is taking the current wave of failure at the London Olympics.
Australia’s Olympic chiefs could do well to think about issuing Kevlar vests to their team.
With unexpected failures in the Games’ opening days, the media flak is already
Continue reading Ausfailure’s Olympic Meltdown Continues
By Bluey Crackersport, on August 4th, 2012 It had to happen. It always does. When the Aussies crap out they steal a Kiwi, or all of them.
The did it to Phar Lap, Split Enz, Prince Tui Teka and even Russel Crowe until he started behaving like an Ocker.
Aussies even invented a word designed to steal Kiwis as their own –
Continue reading Get Down On Your Aussie Knees And Thank God For New Zealand
By Bluey Crackersport, on August 3rd, 2012 Gillard To Blame For Ausfailure Being Sh!t At Sports For The Last Decade
It’s official.
Ausfailure’s 24 million sore losers have found a scapegoat for their craparse London Olympics effort.
Julia Gillard is the reason the Aussies haven’t been able to cheat a few wins in London.
Gillard became prime minister after former
Continue reading Gillard To Blame For Ausfailure’s Olympic Sh!t The Bed
By Bluey Crackersport, on August 3rd, 2012 Emily Seebohm couldn’t hold back tears after finishing second in Monday’s 100m backstroke.
As predicted by www.ausfailure.com Aussies are doing a terrific job at showing the world that they are just not quite good enough to be called winners these days.
The world was of course aware of that, but as usual the
Continue reading Ausfailure Losers In Tears At London Olympics
By Bluey Crackersport, on July 23rd, 2012 Greg Norman move over, we have another great white choker.
Ernie Els kept feeling that something special could happen at the British Open, and it did.
But only after a collapse by Adam Scott that no one imagined.
Four shots ahead with four holes to play – after eight straight holes with nothing worse than
Continue reading As Olympics Loom Ausfailure Shows It’s Choker Class
By Bluey Crackersport, on August 14th, 2011 Ausfailure AKA Soft Cock Cafe
A decade of a sporting humiliation in Ausfailure men’s sport has had a positive side effect according to latest data from the former penile colony.
Sales of men’s jizz mags has dropped dramatically over the last few years according to media reports.
The latest circulation audit, released this
Continue reading Sporting Losses Have Positive Side Effect
By Bluey Crackersport, on July 30th, 2011 Sporting Failure Capital of the World Ausfailure has once more lowered the bar on how embarrassing it’s successive sporting humiliations can go with a predictable loss to Samoa.
Sources from Samoa say they were not surprised to have knocked off the Super 14 champions. “Yeah pro, we won, but when you look at it, we
Continue reading Aussies Celebrate Another Humiliating Loss
By Bluey Crackersport, on April 9th, 2011 There's always next year
It’s not every day that records are set at Augusta, home of the Masters Golf Tournament, but every day some hacker fails to break the course record.
So it was when Loser Nation representative Jason Day came within one shot of the course record after his second round at
Continue reading Another Day, Another Failure
By Bluey Crackersport, on January 30th, 2011 After teasing Aussie sports fans with crushing wins over Uzbekistan, Bahrain and India Aussie’s World Cup failures the Soccerlose once more choked badly when it counted and fell over losing to Japan in the Asia Cup Final.
The Soccerlose also lost to Japan the last time they made the final as well, so at least
Continue reading Soccerlose Choke, Again
By Bluey Crackersport, on January 1st, 2011 Biggest Losers for 2010
CRICKET: Lost the T20 to England, lost the One Day Series to England, lost the Test Series to England, lost the ashes for a third time to England. Biggest Loser Gold Medal.
Honorable Efforts
KEVIN RUDD: Toppled as prime minister in his first term by his deputy Julia Gillard. Rudd stepped
Continue reading New Years Honours List
By Bluey Crackersport, on December 29th, 2010
Ausfailure sh!thouse even at cricket now
AUSTRALIA 98 and 9-258 (Haddin 55no, Watson 54, Bresnan 4-50) lost to ENGLAND 513 (Trott 168no, Cook 82, Siddle 6-75) by an innings and 157 runs.
ENGLAND’s 24-year wait to leave Australia with the Ashes is over.
The visitors needed just under 20 overs on day
Continue reading Aussies lose Ashes on home soil
By Bluey Crackersport, on November 15th, 2010 As expected Ausfailure crapped out yet again to the World Champion Kiwis in the rugby league, that’s the third time in 4 finals that the Ockers have choked.
The rugby union mob were national heros last week after finally knocking off the male model dominated All Blacks after 10 failed attempts, but proved that was
Continue reading Rugby League Failure Only Tip Of Sh!tty Iceberg
By Bluey Crackersport, on November 9th, 2010 While importers of Japan grade condoms are happy with the fact that the average Ausfailure man’s dick is 4 inches according to secret government cover-ups not too many others are thrilled with the problem.
Aussie lasses are the biggest losers over the issue and many have ditched the Aussie bloke for more substantially endowed lads
Continue reading Relief At Hand For Small Dicked Ockers
By Bluey Crackersport, on November 1st, 2010 Source http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/31102010/58/australia-lose-home-t20-record.html
Kangaroo Roadkill, or Aussie Cricket Team 2010 Style
Sri Lanka became the first side to beat Australia in a Twenty20 International on their own soil after they won their match in Perth by seven wickets.
Australia’s poor form across all forms of the game ahead of the Ashes
Continue reading Aussies On Target To Lose Yet Another Ashes Series
By Bluey Crackersport, on October 16th, 2010 Officials Check For Medal Hopefuls
Not normally known for opening their arms to visitors Ausfailure does of course have it’s famous double standard when people trying to escape other countries are good at sport.
Being good at sport in Ausfailure is also good for keeping you out of jail if the missus needs
Continue reading Boat People Help Loser Nation At Games
By Bluey Crackersport, on October 7th, 2010 Ausfailure wrestler Hassene Fkiri's brain fart costs certain medal at the Commonwealth Games on Tuesday.
It’s often said that you can always tell an Aussie, but you can’t tell him much.
This is because so many of them are stupid.
Look at Aussie Gold Medal hopeful Hassene Fkiri. Fkiri was chasing Ausfailure’s first
Continue reading Snatching Defeat From The Jaws Of Victory
By Bluey Crackersport, on September 29th, 2010 Another one from the ‘Only in Ausfailure department’ as the wrong winner is announced on Ausfailure’s reality TV show ‘Next Top Model’.
Show host Sarah Murdoch wasn’t told who won so ended up announcing the loser as the winner. After the loser had made her victory speech she was them told that like most Aussies
Continue reading Next Top Muddle
By Bluey Crackersport, on September 8th, 2010 Insert Here
Aussies are fed up with being losers and that’s completely understandable in the post cheating era where winning isn’t as easy as it used to be for the under performers from down under. Unfortunately they’ve been having their arses dished up on a plate for so long that even a crappy
Continue reading Sheilas Homo Rant Follows Mel’s Jew and ‘Nigger’ Remarks
By Bluey Crackersport, on July 25th, 2010 Bluey Crackersport at Headingly Watching Ausfailure Lose, Again
1995.
So long ago. That was the last time Ausfailure were sh!thouse enough for the world’s worst cricket team, Pakistan, to cream them
But overnight at Headingly in Leeds Ausfailure relented and after a humiliating 1st innings of just a meagre 88 they served their
Continue reading Aus Bends Over For Pakistanis
By Bluey Crackersport, on July 23rd, 2010 10 out of 10 for this dive?
Was it a fit up? The bookies say it was…
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/danny-green-paul-briggs-fight-was-fixed-claim-bookies/story-e6frf7l6-1225895871887
The blokes counting the money says it wasn’t.
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/danny-green-backflip-on-paul-briggs-fight-farce/story-e6frf9if-1225895740070
DANNY Green has performed the ultimate backflip, claiming Paul Briggs didn’t take a dive and was legitimately hurt by his glancing punch in last night’s controversial
Continue reading Money Changes Hands As Fighter Performs 10/10 Backflip On Dive
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